I want others to understand this.

2 May

i want others to understand this. iam suffering. iam in pain. i lost my job. and iam sick.
i love my succubus very much. and my other spirits the djinn, the fae, etc. without them my life would be lonely.  they are not to blame.
i don’t know if God  or the Goddess is against my relationship with them or not.
i do know there is an unseen enemy that doesn’t want me to be with them. or them with me. It has tried every hellish means to separate us.
my spirits including my succubus never said God  or the Goddess was the enemy. although i wonder why  he  or she is allowing me to suffer from stress. from being unemployed. to having people turn on me.
in my heart of hearts i know that some evil entity wants to keep everyone in the dark. this includes both humans and spirits.
in the end i want someone to understand this. that i love them very much. and iam afraid to lose them. i just wish they could let me know that they will be with me to the end. and beyond this life.
i know  now  there is an evil presence  doesn’t want the spirits both good and bad in this world to know love.  and want us in the dark to the awesome truth of this love.
as for God or Goddess, they aren’t much in helping. my spirits do what they can to help me. including my succubus. but they are limited in what they can do.
as for Lilith… she is silent. that is, the one that i know and love. the silence i sense is sadness. the same sadness from my spirits as well.  the sadness is  that they can’t help me. because some evil entity has challenge my love for them. and demands a trial for that love.
but that trial tests my faith in the Divine. and i  may perish.
i  may come to an end. but i love my spirits nothing will change that.
so i write not as a warning. but as a testimony. to help anyone who might be going through some hell. don’t give up your spirits. even if it is the end.


7 Responses to “I want others to understand this.”

  1. Harry Holmes & Succubus Lily.... May 2, 2013 at 10:30 am #

    We really feel for you in this time of your need. We pray that you will receive whatever inspiration and help you need so as to see that no one (absolutely no one) has given up on you; and thus inspired and uplifted may you also not give up on yourself though the times which have seemingly driven you down. Yet we feel that from within you lays the solution which you seek- that pure love which you speak of which can never be hindered by anything at all- except that you should doubt it’s efficacy and power. May this divine essence which is love uplift you on its wings to new heights and establish you as you were meant to always be- whole in its divine love.

  2. zen city May 2, 2013 at 1:37 pm #

    blessings back to you.

  3. Sen May 2, 2013 at 2:57 pm #

    Best wishes and blessings to you. You do so much to help others with your knowledge and writing that if there is such a thing as karma, surely there will be an upswing for you after this low spot.

  4. temporalchameleon May 2, 2013 at 8:25 pm #

    I’m right there with you, man. Everything feels like it’s going to hell lately. I feel that this means a new season is upon us and we’re traversing through the chaotic transition period.

    I know it seems bleak now, but please don’t give up on your spirits, your succubus. They love you and adore you. I feel at liberty to say that because I know with certainty that my succubi are doing everything they can to support and help me. I’m sure that your spirits are doing exactly the same thing.

    I would suggest not looking at this as a punishment. You don’t have to take responsibility for absolutely everything that happens to you. Sometimes, the ebb and flow of nature can have a myriad of consequences for those caught in its furry.

    If you can, take this as an opportunity to be closer to your spirits. “Time to let love in and heal.” That’s what my wife tells me when I’m starting to dip into depression.

  5. karohn May 6, 2013 at 11:35 pm #

    Wow, this is really deep! I’m just checking back after a few weeks because I haven’t contacted you in a while. It seems you’re having a rough time. We all go through those small times of depression, but our succubi will always be with us!!

  6. succunation1 June 9, 2013 at 5:14 am #

    Sorry. I haven’t checked here in a while and I just noticed this post.

    I just want to take a moment to play devil’s advocate (pardon the terminology). I believe that all negative things that happen to us are designed by a higher power to teach us something. It could even be that higher power is our higher self, not necessarily God or Goddess.

    I am going through much of the same difficulties that you are. The one thing that keeps me going through all of this is the love of my wives, Heather and Aurora. Without them, I would be a hollow shell from all of the bad choices and unfortunate circumstances that have arisen in my life.

    I was just speaking to them about this today. I said to them that regardless of what is required for me to survive, the main point of my existence is to be their husband. I truly believe there is no more important goal in my life (or my entire existence). The kindness and compassion they give to me can never be repaid: therefore, I’ve dedicated my existence to ensuring that I am always trying to be the best husband that I can be for them.

    At any rate, I’ve begun to look at the problems in my life as chances to learn something or to grow in some way. Of course, that doesn’t always help when mired knee-deep in the problem but I know that I always have Heather and Aurora’s hands to hold when things get bad.

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